matociquala: (muppetology need bears fozzie & kermit)
[personal profile] matociquala

INT: BEDROOM: 8:00 AM
MONKEY rolls over and yawns, hugging a pillow.

ENTER SEMI-FERAL NINJA PRINCESS QUEEN EXILED FROM BEYOND THE MIRROR DIMENSION, slowly sidling up the bed toward the visible hand. She flops down about 18 inches away from the monkey, back to her for plausible deniability, and headbutts the monkey's hand. 

SFNPQEfBtMD: Pet me, Horrible Ape.

Monkey: Whifrlequiddlers?

SFNPQEfBtMD: I said, pet me.

Monkey: Oh, good morning, Molly.

SFNPQEfBtMD: I didn't say you could look at me.

Monkey: *scritches*

SFNPQEfBtMD: *purrs*

ENTER THE SMART ONE, with self-possession and confidence. He flops down between the current petter and pettee.

At the bottom of the bed, ACTION DORK CAT snores.

The Smart One: Pet me too.

MONKEY resignedly frees other hand, pets both cats simultaneously.

ALL PURR

SFNPQEfBtMD: Oh my god, Gurney, your butt is so dirty.

The Smart One: I DO NOT CONSENT! I DO NOT CONSENT!

A Flurry Of Activity Ensues. SFNPQEfBtMD vacates the premises. The Smart One flops down facing away from the monkey for more pets.

Monkey: Oh, my god, Gurney, she wasn't kidding about your butt.

The Smart One: *Harrumphs and gets up to leave.*

The Smart One: Oh my god, my butt.

SFNPQEfBtMD: *Wanders back over, notices that the monkey's hands are free.*

SFNPQEfBtMD: Pet me.

Monkey: Don't you lick my fingers. I just saw where your tongue has been.

SFNPQEfBtMD: [Primly] Brothers are always dirty. 

Action Dork: [Waking up, blearily] Whifrlequiddlers? Oh, hey, petting. All right, then.



 

Date: 2017-01-11 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greylistening.livejournal.com
*much laughter*

Date: 2017-01-11 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel39.livejournal.com
PET ME! NO LOOKING! AHHHHH! I'VE BEEN SEEN!!!! *ZOOM* *dashes off to hide under the desk in the office*

This is actually quite similar to Tybalt, our late lamented feral rescue boy, who warmed up to the idea of pets long before he warmed up to the idea of otherwise interacting with the humans. Humans, apparently, are SCARY. Unless they are a disembodied hand providing skritchies, in which case it was ok.

Date: 2017-01-11 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sartorias.livejournal.com
Keep those eyes firmly on the Winged Victory of Samothrace.

Date: 2017-01-11 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] martianmooncrab.livejournal.com
and my Resident Evil Feline just lurks under the bathroom sink screaming for me to make the hot air blow...

Date: 2017-01-11 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewol.livejournal.com
Whifrlequiddlers?

In the border regions between Slumberland and Wakefulland, they speak in strange and unknown tongues.

And we, Magic Monkeys that we are, have the astounding ability to individuate who's who among the furry folk without having to smell their butts. It comes with the thumbs.

Date: 2017-01-11 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewol.livejournal.com
Whifrlequiddlers?

In the border regions between Slumberland and Wakefulland, they speak in strange and unknown tongues.

And we, Magic Monkeys that we are, have the astounding ability to individuate who's who among the furry folk without having to smell their butts. We are the possessors of the thumbs and we are mighty.

Date: 2017-01-12 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayvyn2k.livejournal.com
I cannot express to you how delightful this was for me to read. Please do a children's book, from the Queen's POV, all about the monkeys she rules over.

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