matociquala: (bear by san)
INT: BEDROOM: 7:40 am

Monkey: Mrrph?

The Smart One: *patter patter patter DWOP!*

Monkey: Oh, hi, Mousie.

The Smart One: *runs down monkey's spine*

The Smart One: *patter patter patter rattle rattle thump rattle thump slide rattle patter thump*

The Smart One: *patter patter patter DWOP!*

Monkey: Oh, hi, Mousie.

The Smart One: *runs down monkey's spine*

The Smart One: *patter patter patter rattle rattle thump rattle thump slide rattle patter thump*

The Smart One: *patter patter patter DWOP!*

Monkey: Oh, hi, Mousie.

The Smart One: *runs down monkey's spine*

The Smart One: *patter patter patter rattle rattle thump rattle thump slide rattle patter THUMP.*

The Smart One: ...

Monkey: ...

The Smart One: ...

Monkey: ...

Action Dork Cat: CUDDLES TIME!

Monkey: *cuddles*

The Smart One: Cuddles?

Action Dork Cat: MOAR CUDDLES TIME!

Monkey: *cuddles*

The Smart One: This is no good.

The Smart One: *jumps to shelf by bed*

Action Dork Cat: MOAR CUDDLES TIME!!!!!!!!!!11!1eleventy!

The Smart One: *pushes pill bottles around*

Monkey: Cat.

The Smart One: *pushes pill bottles off shelf*

Monkey: You little shit.

Monkey: *evicts cat*

Monkey: *Well, I guess I'm up anyway."

Monkey: *Fetches a flashlight and a stick, and retrieves Mousie from where she has been lost THIS time.*

The Smart One: MOUSIE! *scamper patter rattlepounce*

SEMI-FERAL NINJA PRINCESS QUEEN EXILED FROM BEYOND THE MIRROR DIMENSION: You guys are weird.

***

Mousie has been returned to her family and is resting comfortably:



SEMI-FERAL NINJA PRINCESS QUEEN EXILED FROM BEYOND THE MIRROR DIMENSION is still trying to figure out how to get home:



Cuddles time:

matociquala: (muppetology need bears fozzie & kermit)

INT: BEDROOM: 8:00 AM
MONKEY rolls over and yawns, hugging a pillow.

ENTER SEMI-FERAL NINJA PRINCESS QUEEN EXILED FROM BEYOND THE MIRROR DIMENSION, slowly sidling up the bed toward the visible hand. She flops down about 18 inches away from the monkey, back to her for plausible deniability, and headbutts the monkey's hand. 

SFNPQEfBtMD: Pet me, Horrible Ape.

Monkey: Whifrlequiddlers?

SFNPQEfBtMD: I said, pet me.

Monkey: Oh, good morning, Molly.

SFNPQEfBtMD: I didn't say you could look at me.

Monkey: *scritches*

SFNPQEfBtMD: *purrs*

ENTER THE SMART ONE, with self-possession and confidence. He flops down between the current petter and pettee.

At the bottom of the bed, ACTION DORK CAT snores.

The Smart One: Pet me too.

MONKEY resignedly frees other hand, pets both cats simultaneously.

ALL PURR

SFNPQEfBtMD: Oh my god, Gurney, your butt is so dirty.

The Smart One: I DO NOT CONSENT! I DO NOT CONSENT!

A Flurry Of Activity Ensues. SFNPQEfBtMD vacates the premises. The Smart One flops down facing away from the monkey for more pets.

Monkey: Oh, my god, Gurney, she wasn't kidding about your butt.

The Smart One: *Harrumphs and gets up to leave.*

The Smart One: Oh my god, my butt.

SFNPQEfBtMD: *Wanders back over, notices that the monkey's hands are free.*

SFNPQEfBtMD: Pet me.

Monkey: Don't you lick my fingers. I just saw where your tongue has been.

SFNPQEfBtMD: [Primly] Brothers are always dirty. 

Action Dork: [Waking up, blearily] Whifrlequiddlers? Oh, hey, petting. All right, then.



 

matociquala: (problem cat)




This is Microsoft Cat. He is my stepcat. He belongs to my boyfriend.

Here is how my morning went:



6:00 am: 

MICROSOFT CAT: MONKEY YOU DIURNAL RIGHT?
MONKEY: What the fuck, cat?
MICROSOFT CAT: YOU DIURNAL! YOU GETS UP AND PLAY DURING DAYTIME! IS DAYTIME! GETS UP AND PLAY!
Monkey: The sky might be a little bit grey.
MICROSOFT CAT: IS BRIGHT! GETS UP!
MONKEY: Cat, I will finish you.
MICROSOFT CAT: *digs under covers, wet noses in ears, general tromping and tickling*



6:30 am:

FITBIT ALARM: *buzzes*
MICROSOFT CAT: It looks like you're trying to get out of bed! I HEPS!
MICROSOFT CAT: *settles down cozily and purrs, emitting sleepions.*
MONKEY: Motherfucker.


March 2017

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